CALL ME BY MY NAME

Have we gotten away from what our name sake means?

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What up though? Welcome back to the Ring Your Mouth Podcast with your girl Key. We have entertained enough, don't y'all think? We do it a lot. Now it's time for some real conversation. And I really kind of don't play around too much. So let's get right into it. But I do have a sense of humor. But today I want to discuss something we may not think about often enough. The importance of our name. Someone shared on Facebook, my family, my distant cousin, and she mentioned um how we use nicknames and how people should call their children or let their children know their real names. And it made me reminisce on a situation when I was in second grade, and the teacher was calling Roe, and um she kept calling the guy the boy's name, kept calling his name, kept calling his name, and we looking around. Mind you, everybody else done raised their hand here, present, whatever. This boy sitting back there in the back of the class never said a word. So we know and it's gotta be you. But us that knew him by his nickname, his real name are looking at him like, and we kids, we little kids, second grade, so you ain't really doing too much. Um, teacher finally walks up to him and she goes, Um, are you such and such? And he goes, No, my name Poochie. Okay, that was his nickname. He really didn't know his real name, and that was sad, that was disheartening. Um, the teacher had explained to him, This is your name, and he still was in such a confused state, like, no, this is not my name. My name is Poochie. Why would you send your child to school before you teach them their real name? Like, how you never ever call him by or her by their real name? I'm not fond of nicknames. I believe your name tells a story. Your name attaches you to everything in your life: past, present, future. Your name is more than something people use to get your attention. It represents your identity, your family, your history, and sometimes even the hopes your parents have for you in life. My father used to always say people should give their kids a name that's gonna open doors and open conversations and intrigue the listener. The person that's meeting them is gonna want to see them, want to know who they are. And if y'all know me, y'all know my name is the only one in the world. I live by it, I stand on it. I don't want nobody else to have it. It's mine. It represents me. We see juniors, and you know, I was always uh not a fan of juniors because I feel like everybody needs their own identity. But your surname, your name that carries throughout your family and your legacy, that means something, and it should mean something to you because that's your history. That gives you so much insight on where you came from, who you came from, and gives the next generation that's carrying that name some hope. Yeah, somewhere along the way, many of us stop valuing our names the way we should. We allow people to call us everything except our actual names. B-R-T-C-H, N-I-G-G-A, H-O-E. All that. I'm a baby. All that. We use curse words and degrading nicknames, street names, social media handles, and labels that have nothing to do with who we truly are. Some of us have heard that those names for so long that we answered them without even thinking about what they mean. Some people I honestly see their social media handles, and until I click and see their pictures, I don't even know who they are. Because I'm like, why are you calling yourself this? Is this normal? And I mean, mind you, I've heard some people say, I changed my social media name so I can um scramble my job or you know, people search you or whatever. Well, with whatever you're doing, as long as to whatever career you've chosen, then you probably should do something different or say something different. At the end of the day, you they can figure out who you are anyway, no matter what. But still, you should hold on to some part of your identity. I understand if you want to abbreviate, you want to use your initials or a part of your name, but to actually change your name to these falsified things is weird to me. That's very that's always been very weird to me because I have always I get annoyed when people mispronunciate my name. It's like, no, put some respect on my name. If you don't know how to pronounce it, then ask me. That's all you gotta do. Put some respect on why my father sat down and decided that he was going to give me a name that meant something to him, meant something to me, meant something to my legacy. Put some respect on how my name is pronounced, or either just ask me because it's power insane. That is not my name. Call me by my name. Don't call me no baby, don't call me no NIGGA, don't call my son no NIGGA, don't call my daughter a baby, don't call me nothing outside of what I tell you to call me, call me by my name. This conversation is especially important for the black people because so many of us and our ancestors were stripped of their original names, languages, cultures, and identities. They were renamed by people who did not respect our humanity, did not respect our culture, did not respect our legacy. Many of us are still searching for the complete stories behind our families' names and where we came from. Our lineage is gone. And then here we are sitting voluntarily giving it away for a little fame or fortune or popularity or social media or whatever have you, just calling yourself anything and being called anything. The lyrics are heinous that describe women. Like, nah, don't call me no baby. I don't care how fine I get or how fine you think I am. Please don't. Please call me by my name, or just don't call me nothing at all. That is why our name should not be treated casually. Even if we don't know the full origin of our family name, it still connects us to the people who came before us and the legacy we are creating for those who would come after us. I understand nicknames and stage names for our celebrities and all this nonsense that they do. But sometimes the stage name is part of an artist's creativity and protection or business brand. But we are now seeing people carrying those names beyond the stage, legally replacing their real names. Because, first of all, no matter what you change your name to, once you become a celebrity and an artist and famous, people know how to find your information. It's it's not really a catch handle. I love to see an artist or a celebrity or a famous person become who they are and remain who they are. Elon did not change his name, he's the richest man in the world. So why do y'all feel like y'all gotta change your name and then you go name your children after these stage names? You actually go and put your child's name, something that's gonna carry them for the rest of their life, in these stage names and these fantasies and these facades. Go find out who you are, go figure it out because it's not that serious to replace your legal name legally with something that that's a facade, just because you want it to be catchy. That's weird. That's not weird to y'all. It's weird to me. When a stage name becomes the only identity a person recognizes, we should at least ask what may be getting lost. Do you want to be recognized by who you created or what you bury? What's getting lost? Fame should not require anyone to erase who they were before the world started watching. We also have to think think about the names we give our children, and that goes back to say, why why would you name your child something that's not gonna be? I'm not saying you okay, so before y'all take this wrong, I'm not saying that um names should be racially powered, or because some of us can't even pronounce the African names or the original names that we would have had, but it means something in Africa. The day you were born, uh what day of the week you were born, that's how your name is associated, what tribe you were born into, your family's lineage and your family's legacy. You know, it means something. When I visited Africa for the first time, and um I did the naming ceremony, and they explained this to me, and I wonder why. I used to always wonder when I met um people from Africa of many regions why Nigerians had some of the same first names, you know, Alu, Nana, all that is common. Aqua is common, and then they it was explained to me that it's because of the day you were born, the month you were born, and then your family's lineage carries on. So my name is Aquatia O'Champoon. Um, that's Monday born on a certain month, certain day, and the tribe that I would have belonged to before my my name was stripped, um, that's associated with my family, would have been my second and and uh third and fourth name. So I don't really know that because there's so much uh saturation in our lineage, we don't even really know. We have to chase and chase and chase back so many decades, so many decades, just trying to figure out where I even come from, and then I want to voluntarily erase who I am. It shouldn't have to be simplified. Your name is power, our names deserve respect in schools, workplaces, in our relationships, our families. Learning someone's name, pronouncing it correctly, and using it instead of an insulting label is one of the simplest ways to acknowledge that a person requires and is proud of their dignity. Showing a person's dignity through simple pronunciation can mean a lot. I remember posting it one time on social media, and I said how it annoys me when people just take it upon themselves to fuck my name up. Um, and somebody responded, Oh, it's not that serious. It may not be that serious to you, but it's that serious to me. All 15 letters, get them right. Or ask me. Because it means something to me, and it carries my legacy. Pronounce it right. Tell me beforehand that you're gonna try to mess it up if you're gonna mess it up. Amuse me, but please don't insult me. My name carries my dignity, and we must stop normalizing calling one another degraded words in the name of friendship, entertainment, or affection. No, I'm not your bitch. I'm not, you're not my nigga. You're my partner, my dude, my friend, my lover. When I use that term, if you call me, I've always said that girlfriends who constantly use that word so casually, it annoys me because I'm not your bitch either. Um it should annoy you as much because I try, I I'm angry when I use those words. I'm gonna call you by your name. I wanna call you by your name. I don't even want to call grown people a nickname because at that point you've you've come to an age where you should be self-identifying with pride. And you I tell people all the time, don't call me Kiki. Kiki is when I was a little girl. I'm not a little girl no more, and I do dumb my name down because it's so long, but I promise you I'm going to give you the full version and hope that you want to say it. If you don't want to say it, I'll give you a part of it, but it's still a portion of my name, it's still identifying my name, my given name, whatever letters you want to pull out of it. Use all 15, use three, use eight, use five, use ten. But you're gonna use my name. You're not gonna call me out of my name and think I'm supposed to respond to it with a smile. No, it's degrading. A disrespectful word does not automatically become loving just because someone says it with a smile. Just because you call me a bitch with a smile and you say you're my friend, don't mean that's a loving word or a kind word. Just because you walk up to your homeboys and this, my nigga, what up, though? Don't mean that's a kind word. It's still a degrading term, it's not their name. Now I'm not here to tell anybody what name they should use, what name your child, would it call your child, do whatever means something to you. But hold on to that meaning if it means something to you and teach that so that it'll mean something to them. People have the right to choose how they identify. But I am asking us as a black race who have been stripped of so much to think more deeply about what we answer to, what we call each other, and what we are teaching the next generation. We cannot be so casual with degrading words and terms and the lack of use of our names. Ask your parents or your grandparents why they chose your name. If they're not around, ask your aunties or your uncles, older siblings. Research is meaning and origin. Learn the names of the people in your family who came before you. If you have children, teach them the stories behind their names. Tell them why I named you this, why I chose you. If you want to name your child Ocean, was it because you had a love for the water? You heard the peace in the sea? Put some respect on it. Every time you walk in a room, Ocean, poke your chest out because your name means something. I gave it to you for a reason. Don't go downgrade it and allow the world to see you as someone else, other than who I named you and what I gave you and what I called you to be. The hopes I have for you and your namesake, I want you to grasp it and hold on to it. Use it, be proud. Most importantly, never allow anyone to reduce you to a cuss word or stereotype or a label that strips you away from your identity. We have become way too comfortable with accepting the comparison of nigger and nigga. Every no good person that's aka a nigga has to be associated with nigger, and nigga has to be associated with a black person only. What's my name? It ain't neither one of them. My name ain't nigga, it ain't nigger, it ain't bitch, it ain't whole, it ain't slut, it ain't bad bitch, it ain't none of that. Call me by my name. Practice that. Ask yourself. Have you allowed your name to be stripped away by the use of falling in love with popular trends, fame, and nonsense. But before you answer, pause and ask yourself one more question. Is that really my name? It's real simple. Is that really my name? Are you really gonna call me this? I I I have never experienced it on a regular where I've had to check many people, especially men. Because once a man called me out my name, that's a wrap. If you got that man, honey, go on about your business. Or if you feel this way, or this is your way of talking and talk to whoever accepts you this way, because I don't. I don't I don't want to be called out my name every 15 minutes or every time you open your mouth. Because my name carries my identity. Your name should carry yours too. It carries your history and it carries your power. Don't take away my power. Don't strip me of my history and you look like me. Don't get comfortable with calling me out my name, and my name has already been taken. My origin of my original tribe has already been stripped. If my parents sat down and dedicated a name to me, and it meant something to them so that it would mean something to me, please call me by it. We should think about that. So I urge everyone who I run into, please call me by my name. This has been Run Your Mouth Podcast with your girl Keith. The streets are talking, but it is time for us to pay attention to what they are calling us. Until next time, speak with purpose, honor who you are, and never be afraid to correct somebody who refuses and misuses to put some respect on your name because some people do it on purpose. Make them put some respect on your name. But you gotta first put some respect on your own name until next time about.